Beware the Car Disease

I have a disease. Luckily it’s chronic, not acute, but it’s still debilitating. I have the foreign car disease. I own nine European automobiles: five Fiats (Italian), two Mini Coopers (English), one BMW (German), and one Citroen (French). I’m not bragging. I’m really ashamed to be such an out-of-control, materialistic, bourgeoisie and compulsive purchaser of shiny, smoking metal objects. As part of the cure, I’m very thankful that I’m a graduate of Pearl River Community College’s excellent two-year program in automotive mechanics.

In my defense, my cars are mostly clunkers, but I do have three iconic cars that were developed in response to economic conditions in post-World War II Europe: my oldest Mini, my smallest Fiat, and my only Citroen. They are like family members, and my granddaughters named them “Shorty,” “Peewee” and “Claire,” Let me tell you briefly about each one.